“Nissan announced that they’ve developed a new car that gets 367 miles per gallon. It’s called the Nissan Fred Flinstone. In a related story, Toyota just announced their new car will get 500 mpg, plant rain forests, and give birth to endangered pandas.”

- Conan O’Brien, “Tonight Show”

Solar-Powered Plane Takes Flight: FAA Recommends Against Night Trips

Throngs of sweaty, tired, sunburned onlookers lathered in sun lotion and sporting Chanel shades packed the sand dunes of the Sahara to watch the world’s first 100% solar-powered plane take flight. After a 7 hour “prep time” sitting directly under the sun to soak up the energy needed to take off, the plane silently soared into the sky as the crowd roared. Weighing little more than a rusted out Yugo yet carrying the wingspan of a Boeing 747, the plane currently seats one, though a “Supernova” version for three is in the planning stages. Pilot and passenger Steve “solar flare” Muldoon remarked at the end of the 27 minute flight, “It’s everything I dreamed it would be. There’s no need for pressurized cabins or oxygen masks when you’re flying 400 feet off the ground. It’s truly a comfortable ride. I’m just glad we picked the Sahara to do the test flight- not so many tall buildings to watch out for around here.” He then waxed nostalgically about how far human ingenuity has come when it comes to alternative power, “I remember pedaling as hard as I could to get that human-powered plane off the ground in ’85. We stayed aloft for 13 minutes before my legs cramped up and we crashed. We’ve doubled that flight time in a little over two decades- all by just using the sun and without any charlie horses!”

- Guest Author Marmalade Jane